My Angel

My Angel - my light of my life. I am very scared for her right now. Even though I know she will be OK.



Sunday night I was washing dishes when I heard her trying to get up. She has a hard time on the wood floors, so you can hear her scramble from a mile away. But this time it sounded different. I went around the corner to see if I could help her. She was turning her head from side to side like she didn't know where she was. And she couldn't get up. I tried to help her, but she just couldn't do it. Then I noticed her eyes. She had nystagmus. If you have ever been drunk and had "the spins" when you tried to lay down, or if you have ever had vertigo. Nystagmus is when your eyes can't focus, and they are kinda twitching. Moving rapidly side to side. Not the lids, the eyes themselves. They are moving and you have no control over it, and can't make it stop. The room is spinning. Angel's eyes were doing that. I told my husband, if she were human, I'd swear she had vertigo. I told him to go to Ask.com and see what could cause nystagmus in dogs. He came up with Vestibular disease.



Well, all I knew was my baby had to be OK. I sat in the floor with her until it stopped, about 15-20 minutes, then tried to see if she could walk. I got her to follow me down the hallway, and back up again, thought everything was OK, it was all over. But when we got back out to the kitchen, she fell, and it started all over. Then she started throwing up. So off the emergency vet we went, I was a nervous wreck. They had to bring a gurney out to the truck to bring her in, and that really did me in! I lost it! They had to keep her overnight, said that it probably was Old Age Vestibular Disease. I picked her up Monday morning and took her to her regular vet, Dr. Wolfe, (he is her life-saver, literally). He said the same thing, and kept her Monday. I stayed home from work, cried all day, went back to see her Monday afternoon, no change yet. He said it could be 72 hours to a week, but he thought she would come out of it.



So scary! But I trust Dr. Wolfe, her life has been in his hands before, and he got her through just fine. He is very gentle with her.



She can't control any of her movements, her tongue just hangs out, because she can't control it, either. She can eat a little, but drops the food very easily, so just a couple bites of wet food is all she can do.



The house is very lonely without her. I miss her.

Withdrawal Stinks.

Ok, obviously here is something I have not yet figured out!!

This, of course, is one of my favorite pictures taken at my favorite place in the world, and I can't figure out how to flip it!!! So just tilt your head to the left and enjoy...

I am anxiously awaiting cooler weather. Or at the very least, some not-too-humid weather. I LOVE the beach and haven't been since July because I'm pregnant and can hardly breathe in the humidity. And when I go to the beach, I want to walk a 1/2 mile down the beach before making camp, because too many people are up at the beginning of the beach. That is not very easy in my condition!

Therefore I am suffering from beach withdrawal. This is very painful. I may have to check in to rehab. Do they have rehab for beach addiction? If they do, they probably charge $15,000 a week. Rehab is out of the question.

SO.... as soon as the humidity goes back down and I can breathe again, the very first thing I'm doing is hitting the beach again!! I miss it SO MUCH!!

Gloucester-Mathews Gazette-Journal

I finally figured out how to do this:

Gloucester-Mathews Gazette-Journal

Yep, It's a Bear

Ok, so I did actually find the proof.



I had looked in the wrong paper, at first. But then I thought about the local paper, Gloucester-Mathews Gazette Journal. And there it was! This picture was actually taken in the back yard of the house across from my parents' house. Wow. That's all I can say. And I was all ready to send my son and parents up the river for fibbing. Shame on me. Shame, shame, shame.

I don't even know what to say.

There are bears in Gloucester!! Wow.

I am such a terrible mom! But at least I didn't tell my son that I thought the bear story was a tall tale, right? I still don't buy him hearing this thing growl at him...

Lions, Tigers, and Bears, Oh My

Yep, that's snow on the beach. Nope, it has nothing to do with this blog. Fortunately, I have not seen the "star" of this blog, therefore, I have no pictures.

I have lived in Gloucester my entire life. We have all kinds of wildlife around here. We have racoons, squirrels, opposums, snakes, turkeys, deer, foxes, farm animals (gotta love the moo cows). But what we DON'T have are - lions, tigers, and bears.

My son informed me the other day that there was a bear residing in my parents' neighborhood. Yes, a bear. In Gloucester. Now, I haven't bought a paper, but this bear was supposedly in the paper yesterday. The story as my son tells it, is that this black bear has been spotted by my parents' neighbor 3 doors down, and another a couple roads down. They have a neighbor behind them, there is a pond, a field, then the neighbor's house. Well, apparently this bear was in that field, and apparently the hunters (who have apparently been asked to help by the local game wardens) came and shot at the bear, missed the bear, then got charged by the bear, and they all jumped in their trucks and left. Of course, this is all here-say. My son also proceeded to tell me that he heard this bear growl, then heard footsteps - while he was in my parent's back yard. So he went in the house. I'm not so sure I buy THAT one...

The bear is apparently 7 foot tall, and is still at large.

I apologize for the overuse of the word "apparently" in this blog, but I have no proof of any of this, except my mom swears up and down it's true... and I can't think of another word that means the same thing, because I'm having a "baby is sucking my brain and I can't think straight" moment.

Did anyone see this bear in the Daily Press yesterday?

I don't know what to make of all this. I have never heard of any bears anywhere near Gloucester County. My son has been known to stretch to truth, take a small comment and run with it, daydream, etc etc. My parents have been known to "humor" him. But it sure is a good story, true or not.

Angel, Part II

Here's my Angel reading up on babies - she's never had to deal with this before, so she better study up while she can.

So to continue my Angel's story...

We got her home that night, and the poor baby would not leave my side for anything. We had no idea what she had been through, what her personality was, but boy, we soon found out. She's afraid of so many things. Ex was getting ready for bed, pulled off his belt, and Angel hid behind me with her tail between her legs. We soon found out she was afraid of guns (just the sight of a gun - Ex was a hunter, so there were plenty of them in house.) She was also afraid of the fly-swatter, newspaper, and thunder. And fireworks!! Oh, my goodness. She had a standing prescription for doggy Valium for July 4th, New Years, and any other time there were going to be little fireworks going off. I haven't been out for July 4th or New Years in 9 years. That's OK with me, because Angel needs me. Even with the drugs, I had to make sure I had pottied, got anything I would need to eat or drink for the night, then I had to give her the meds then "get in position". This meant sitting on the floor with blanket in hand. Angel would get in my lap (all 85 pounds of her), and then I would have to put the blanket over her and hold her with my arms around her, and talk to her while she trembled and shook all over. I felt so bad for her!! If I were to try to get up for any reason while she was drugged, she would try to follow me immediately, which meant she would wobble and fall, sometimes in painful looking positions! So I gave up ever trying to get up until the fireworks were over and the meds wore off. Those days are actually gone now, because she can't hear anything anymore.

Going back, the very first vet appointment she went to, I got bad news. Angel had heartworms, and it was already affecting her liver. She had to go on special meds to get her kidneys "in shape" just so she could tolerate the treatment. The treatment was explained to me as injections of arsenic. She would have to stay at the vets for two separate treatments, for two nights and three days each time. It was also explained to me that the treatment could also kill her. Needless to say- I went on Xanax. I work in Internal Medicine, and am very close to the docs I work with, so they recognized the "lack of me" in my eyes. I had no clue where I was half the time. I felt like I was watching myself from outside my body. I was on my way to a nervous breakdown, I was so scared for my Angel. I bet her previous owner dropped her off because they found out she had heartworms. That broke my heart. I visited the vet every morning and every afternoon, called at lunch time, the vet and his staff were awesome for putting up with me! But she made it through.

Now she is approximately 13. We don't know for sure, since she was a stray, 13 is the vets best guess. Bless her bones (and her heart), she can't squat anymore to potty, she sits all the way down instead, she can't even get in the bed with me anymore, hasn't been able to for about 4 years, when she has been used to sleeping with me for years. (That may have been why Ex is now the Ex, hehe, that girl is always looking out for me in mysterious ways!) Yep, me and my baby are going through alot of changes with her advanced age. She still follows me everywhere, I still can't do laundry or sweep without tripping over her, she still follows me into the closet and then can't back up (she never was able to back up - don't know why...) so I have to climb over her and go out ahead of her so she has enough room to turn around. But sometimes, if she is asleep, she won't hear me get up and go somewhere else in the house. Then she wakes up and realizes I am not where she thought I was, and boy she panics! Those are the only times she moves quickly anymore - when she is trying to find me.

I tell you one thing - she can still hear my teardrops from a mile away, and I will be in Eastern State when she goes to Heaven. She is my very best friend.

Now I have to stop because I am definitely boo-hooing.

Angel, Part I

Isn't she the most pretty girl in the world? She is in my world.

This story is going to have to be two parts, mostly because I am a minor-detail (usually having nothing to do with the story) freak. Sorry...

Thanksgiving 2000. I was still married to Ex at the time. My son was 4. On the way to Ex's Aunt's house for Thanksgiving Dinner. For whatever reason, son rode with Grandparents, therefore, Ex and I were able to talk about Christmas presents. I knew exactly what I wanted Santa to bring our son. A puppy. Not just any puppy, I explained to Ex, it HAD to be a golden retriever. This being because everything I read said that is the best breed for children. And it HAD to be a puppy because you never know what an adult dog has been through, and how they are with children, etc, etc. So we had this all planned out. We were going to get the puppy (from who knows where) and take it to my brother's house for him to puppy-sit, then pick up the puppy Christmas Eve late. That was the perfect plan.

We arrived at Aunt's house, very excited about our plans, and also excited about Aunt's cooking...

We had not been there too long when one cousin asked Aunt "Mom, is that dog still hanging around?". My ears perked up. Aunt replied "yes, poor thing sleeps out there next to Duke every night". Duke was Aunt's golden retriever who resided outside in a pen. I asked Cousin "what dog?". Cousin replied, "some stray". The dog had been there at Aunt's house for 3 days!

I immediately went outside to the front porch where all the guys were out talking. I sat on a chair, and as soon as I did, I saw her. Then she saw me. She came right up on the porch, passed by all the men trying to pet her, came and sat directly in front of me, scooted up as close as she could get, and put her head in my lap! The stray was a golden retriever. I looked down at her, we just looked into each other's eyes, and I fell flat on my face in love with her. I looked at Ex, and I informed him that she was coming home with us. Period. End of story.

He was hesitant, asked Aunt if she knew where this dog had come from, which she had no clue. They lived in a neighborhood where everyone knows everyone, and also everyone else's dogs. She must have been dropped of. Poor baby.

I reluctantly went in and ate Thanksgiving dinner, hoping she wouldn't run away. When we left, she was right there at the door waiting for me. We went to the car, opened the door, she looked up at me, and I nodded at her, and in she went. Right up on the seat beside my son, just like she belonged there! I cried! I'm crying now!!

So, we told our son that God sent her to us for Christmas early, which I firmly believe. So I named her Angel. And my son gave her the middle name "Bear". His favorite cartoon at that time was Little Bear. So Angel Bear it was, and still is.

She is my baby.

Now that you are staring at the back of your eyelids, I will give you a break, you can wake up and go read something interesting, and come back tomorrow for the "rest of the story".